Setting Goals and Priorities

I'm writing this one because I'm good at budgeting and making the most of my resources, whether that's time or money. I'm physically disabled. Right now I live on a fixed income with disability and it feels like I live high on the hog, because it took over a decade for me to get it.

I survived on practically nothing during those years. I couldn't work, but did odd jobs when my health allowed it, sold art, tried just about every legal way to earn cash under the table just to get by. I was so far under the poverty line I had to crick my neck to look up at it.

So that first priority level of "Need or Want?" applied to small things like which foods to buy as well as to the big things I mostly did without. When I was careful about that, most of the time I had a little bit left for "Wants" after taking care of "Needs," except of course for those times when I was too sick to take care of my needs and fell through the cracks.

Managing time and managing money are similar in some ways. You have only so much of either and usually a lot of needs that all are important in the long run. In a crisis, when you don't have enough for all your Needs, you have to cut deeper and choose between Now and Eventually.

Long term needs that are important, like medical care, can get cut out in favor of short term needs like food or a place to sleep. There's also, at that point of desperation, a very real need that has to be considered -- hope and morale.

If I didn't have enough for anything, if I was down to eating the last package of ramen, sometimes I needed to hold back just a little to go and give myself something that wasn't a necessity. Something to remind myself that life has treats and joys in it. That could be as tiny as scrounging up some pennies and going to the French Market flea market for a polished stone -- one booth had them as low as five or ten cents each, just tumbled pebbles of quartz and agate. Other times it was living on $10 a week for food and holding on to the last dollar to decide on a treat with it instead of putting it all into cheap noodle dinners and coffee.

Now this comes into dieting and eating as well. Treats aren't something everyday. Treats are something you look forward to, haven't had for a while, anticipate and really enjoy. Someone who has dessert with every dinner stops thinking of dessert or sweets as special. They become routine, taken for granted, may be mistaken for a Need when they aren't. Literally, they may not be as much fun.

Knowing that treats, rewards and something to look forward to are an emotional need, I put that in with all the survival needs in order to keep my head. If I didn't, I could wind up losing it with relief on doing an odd job and blow every dime of it on some long-awaited treat that I missed from when I was able to hold a job. Like being hungry that day and going out to eat a pizza, because I missed pizza, spending the whole amount instead of going to the grocery store for a whole week's food and getting a package of Little Debbie cakes for a treat that would last more than a day.

Many Americans have a hard time conceiving of needs. They have a larger margin between absolute necessity and the social necessities and expectations of their habits and lifestyles. They may think of new clothing every year as a need, they may think of going to a barber or hairdresser as a need, they may think of television as a need. These are the things that sometimes stay on the budget when food gets cut, because they haven't actually gone without food for weeks at a time and gotten sick from hunger.

It can also lead to foolish spending to look at life that way. I can't count the number of busy working people I've known who have no food in their cabinets or refrigerator. I can tell you from my poverty years, a refrigerator isn't a Need. It's a Want and it broadens what you can keep in the house for food by a lot. It's cost effective, but it's not a Need. Having some food in the house is a Need when you can't afford to eat out.

Having the cheap staple foods in your house in large quantity that can be prepared when you don't have money to go out for perishables is a way to get around a tight food budget and prepare for intermittent income. That means getting the ten pound bag of rice, the big can of oatmeal, the bulk-packs of ramen. Watch for sales on canned hash and stew and vegetables and fruits so that when you don't have any money for food, you still have a varied diet with some meats and vegetables in it instead of just rice and noodles. I've managed. You can spend less on it by watching for the big deep-discount sales at grocery stores on nonperishables and build up a good larder when you do have money.

Then if things turn tight, you aren't literally starving.

But I've seen people who used to have jobs wind up ignoring that, even when they're living on unemployment. They don't keep food in the house, so they go hungry and don't actually have the hash or dried vegetables to put in the ramen or that big tub of margarine to use with it. The last few days of whatever they can scrape up make them crabby, the check comes, and then they eat out. Or buy enough for one meal and get more expensive stuff without bothering to stockpile the cheap necessities because sure enough there will come those last few days before the check again.

Coupon-clipping can help, but coupon-clipping has a problem in that most of the coupons are for expensive luxury foods like breakfast cereal. You can still wind up spending too much on it even after the coupons. When you are looking at food for survival, calorie counting matters.

Calorie count in reverse, not so much to choose light foods that give lots of flavor for little calories but to find the high calorie foods that would give an actual day's food for less money. It's a different way to look at it, one that kept me alive when my life fell through a lot of cracks in all the systems.

That hunger taught me to understand necessity, but also to understand the importance of wants. When I had something to look forward to, I had more patience with waiting for it and doing what I needed to do to get it. I smoke, but I never did wind up so down and out that I couldn't get some form of tobacco. I smoke roll your owns by choice now, not wanting to waste money on packaged cigarettes. They taste better with fewer additives and I smoke less because I make the short ones.

That's the other half of it.

Once things get good again and you have money for things, prioritize your wants and remember that some wants can't be overindulged without consequences. Obesity is epidemic in America because nothing in the culture seems to tell people to pace themselves at all. Either you have it or you don't. Indulge yourself and gorge or starve and diet because looking good rolled up to the top of the priority list.

The way to lose weight gently and keep it off is to gradually introduce healthier foods, a serving the first week, two or three the next. Then as your digestion gets used to it, eat it pretty much every day. Look at the foods you like and rate them for how healthy they are. Eat the healthier ones more often. Save the richest ones for occasional treats and enjoy them more because you do have Sunday dinner with dessert to look forward to.

How to live with abundance is as difficult as how to live with scarcity. Most people seem to have a big problem with abundance. Heck, most living things do -- animals will breed and overpopulate an area till there are too many deer and lots of them starve. We have intelligence and can learn new behaviors. Creating a pattern of living that's whole and healthy when in abundance is a way to bring that abundance back into your life if it's intermittent.

Living paycheck to paycheck is dangerous. Lots of people do it because of social necessities. The clothing budgets of people with jobs are dictated partly by the workplace -- and partly by people's expectations to buy new brand name clothing in trendy stores where people of their class shop, rather than thrift stores or secondhand stores. It's still good clothing if it's been worn a few times. Choose well. Dress creatively. You know what you like. Choose clothes that wear well, sometimes an expensive garment will prove cost effective if it lasts longer than a cheap one. For things like coats, suits, boots and so on, that strategy can be very effective.

Setting priorities in life is something that touches everything you do. All of your activities of daily living are affected by your priority decisions. Because of my mobility limits, I've had to organize and store my possessions differently from an abled person. Everything has to be in reach. I'll function better in a small "cluttery" room than a large spacious one because I don't have to walk as far to get at the things I need or want -- but the clutter has to be organized and prioritized. Otherwise I spend too long on my feet looking for a book or an art supply or something to wear.

My limited body energy and mobility taught me to economize on activities of daily living. Doing that allows me a lot more of them. I don't blow all of the day's energy on running around looking for my clothes, so I may have the energy to take a shower. I sit down and rest, while resting organize my drafting table, which functions as a desk. Or do my email and look at forums. Then when I go to the bathroom, pass the shelf and choose art supplies for the day's project.

I don't waste motion. If I did, I would have too many bad days when I need to use the bathroom and have to wait for an hour before my back and legs are rested enough to get up for it. Those are frustrating days, but far fewer if I organize my actions.

Shopping in bulk less frequently was an adaptation to disability. It also saved money though. If I were a working man with a car, it would mean three more trips to the store every month to do it weekly and that would take both time and gas. The money saved on the gas might get me a great steak dinner for a treat for the month. I would always get one good "treat" entree when I shopped, the top of the month would have a cool food treat like that with all the trimmings. The rest of the month would be hamburger, rice and vegetables but I'd enjoy that steak.

I haven't bought clothing for several years now. My jeans are still okay, eventually I'll need new ones but not now. My peacoat is still a good looking, thick, warm winter coat. My leather biker jacket is fifteen years old and cooler than when I first got it, it's broken in now and fits perfectly.

Where I fall short in adapting from deprivation to abundance is savings. If I have money, I spend it on something that I know will last and I'll need and want it later on. Anything that's cost effective could come into that category. Art supplies can pay for themselves in a pinch, so I focused more on my art hobby than other hobbies. I've got a great studio again, managed to reconstruct everything I had back in the days when I was a full time artist in New Orleans. I'll get good books so that on those sick days I've got something to read.

A good percentage of "Wants" vs. "Needs" when things are tight is to keep 10% of the budget for "Wants." Then tighten to where you have that 10%, even if that means fiddling with the small stuff and checking prices on brands of bread or canned groceries. It makes a big difference in happiness not to wind up looking at "necessity only" for everything. For one thing, long term necessities never come -- I did need health care and my health declined a lot farther than it would've if a doctor had noticed how weak I was. For another, if you get depressed it's too easy to overindulge when anything comes in.

When it came to budgeting, I found out from a financial counselor and several bankruptcy experts that they always recommend an actual entertainment budget. It's exactly on that principle of needs and wants. People can't go All or Nothing on a budget and not put anything into entertainment, or they will get fed up on it and some paycheck will go into entertainment first. A week of nights out at the movies and there's no rent. A Netflix plan could make a big difference.

So keep life in balance. Whether it's money, the food you eat or the activity you spend your time doing, think about both your long and short term goals. Make sure some of your resources go toward the long term and make sure a little of them go to treats and wants that keep you going. Otherwise life gets so grim that there's a binge on the other side.

Be real about what makes you happy and remember that feeling good enough to enjoy the toys is part of it too. That means include hobbies and activities that involve moving around as well as sedentary ones. Choosing favorite fruits as treats along with high calorie desserts. Let the good fruits be the regular more frequent daily treats. It's possible to build some great habits but the best way to make them stick is to make them self-rewarding, otherwise there's a binge on the other side to knock you back to start and self punishment.

Don't waste time beating yourself up while planning. It's more important and a lot happier to anticipate while planning. Windowshop and consider pleasure purchases. Seriously weigh this gadget vs. the other one in all its features, read up on it, find out which ones give you the most bang for the buck while saving up for it. I may get an iPod Touch at some point or I might get a Graphire Tablet, for me either would primarily be to do digital art but the iPod would also function for music and the Graphire wouldn't. The iPod might be worth paying a little more.

I haven't done it yet but sooner or later I will -- and by the time I do, there'll be a good refurbished one out there nicer than the ones available now. So relax and enjoy the long term too. Setting priorities doesn't have to be unpleasant, it can be an exercise in anticipation. Enjoy!